Day 61

I'm so close to my day of Definition.
May 28th, 2009
The day of drum major auditions.

I'm scared shitless. Really I am. I haven't had a full practice in the weeks before.
I want this, I really do but right now things are getting tough. It's the part of the challenge when everything is getting tough, but at the same time I'm finding out what I'm made of. Alex, is making this worse. TOTALLY worse. I tried asking (for what seems like the millionth time) if he could please focus on the task at hand and not disrupt my practices. He stated (being the asshole he is) that he's messing with me because it's funny and I'm his prime target right now. GAHHH!!!
I'm only a few days away from being able to actually do something about it (though I swear, my patience and sanity are wearing horribly thin right now) I know I can do this and I know that I've got the skills but right now I need a miracle and being single isn't helping. Especially when my ex is purposely making things difficult.
I'm going to keep fighting though. I can't give up so close to my goal. If I can survive this week then I can do anything. I'm a fighter. I should be. I need to be.


On a positive note, I found this quote by Katy Perry from Perez Hilton.com:

"I don't like being single, no. I live this fantastic life, full of all these magical things, and at the end of the day all I want to do is pick up my phone and share it with someone. The other day I'd sold a million records in the U.S. and I didn't have anyone to tell. It was actually a really lonely moment."

That's kind of what i'm feeling right now. Amen, Katy. Amen. Let's continue to be successful but at the same time, let's hope someone amazing comes our way. (: