Day 4

Today was a waste of my time. I attempted in vain to try and win Alex back. He wouldn't even look at me when I ambushed during lunch. The only thing I'm grateful for was that he didn't laugh in my face. Thank God I didn't cry when he said he was over me alreade. I managed to walk away with a bit of self respect and dignity, even though on the inside, I felt like crap. All the time we spent together and then he leaves me. Fucker...
Again, I'm grateful to my loyal friends, even if my parents aren't. My mom doesn't get why I'm in a bad mood. Hm... I wonder why. Maybe it's the fact that I have a dress for Junior Prom but no date. Or maybe it's just because I need chocolate to hold my teenage body together! Idk mom... what do you think?
I'm still torn between loving him and hating him. I tried watching tv right now, but then I saw his favorite movie and started to wonder if he was watching it right now and I almost picked up the phone to call him. I hate myself for doing that now...
Among the things I've discovered in the last 4 days are:
1) There is not enough food in the world to mend a broken heart.
2) Scrabble is the perfect stress reliever, especially in Band when I'm stuck with him, and I've got nothing to do.
And
3) People are idiots, especially for bringing up the last thing you want to hear ALL THE TIME!

The weekend is here and the last I saw of him, he was heading home. Peace from my own mind for 2 days. That's exactly what I need right now. I can only pray Andrew or Alex don't come up during the weekend.