Day 2 [Written 3/25/09]

Today was somewhat better. I went the whole day without crying and managed to hold my head up high. I hardly saw him and yet my stomach still seems to flip. Everytime I see him, I get delirious, almost getting the feeling back as if we never broke up. I'm imagining things. I sat in Spanish today and I could've sworn I could smell his cologne. I managed to hold everything together but then I was overwhelmed with nostalgia, then longing, then pain. I'm proud myself though. I didn't cry today.
I saw Andrew in the halls today. It was just a quick wave, some eye contact and he walked on, him moving on with his life and me trying to move on with mine. It was brief but enough to make me remember that he never liked me in the first place but now that I'm free from the bondage of his brother, he's still civil. Maybe all of his family really liked me after all.
Rumors are already swirling that Alex's flirting with one of my friends in the color guard. Even though she has a boyfriend and is certainly not going anywhere (not to mention the fact that she's too good for him) just the fact that rumors already exist is enough. Why can't people talk about someone else's life? What happened to Britney Spears and Amy Winehouse?
Let him live his life. I'm not saying today was easy but I managed to get out of bed, get dressed, not cry and live. Then again, there's a difference between being alive and actually living.
Now I just need to continue for a few more days until I can go into hiding for the weekend.