Day 133... I think.

Maybe it's a good sign but even with the CountUp timer, I'm losing track of how many days it's been. No, that's not a maybe. It's definitely a good sign. A great sign. It's been quite a while, I'll admit. Still, he's under my skin, after all this time. Last Friday was proof of that. I guess I'm at the point in my life where I'm moving on from the old but not quite ready for the new. Sure, I've already gone full speed with my band duties but I have yet to find fulfillment. I'm making a difference, believe me, I'm trying to but... I still haven't found someone to share it with. Will I ever? It doesn't even have to be a relationship. I just want someone to talk to. Someone who'll listen to me and be there for me. And right now, I should have that.



Um, this kind of happened but I have a boyfriend. I've had one since the 24th. His name is *Lee. It's kind of a long story about that. I met Lee last year. He was my secret admirer, despite my experience with secret admirers, he was a full fledged legit secret admirer... and I fell for him. We talked on MSN all the time, and he made my summer beyond interesting. We'd made plans to meet in person when the school year started when one day out of nowhere he just stopped messaging me. Just like that he disappeared. After a month passed with no word, I just gave in and convinced myself that it was all just an incredibly cruel prank and none of it was really true. And so the rest of my summer passed, uneventful and lazy as all summers tend to be. The rest... is basically what made this blog. The events that happened after Lee disappeared are the reason I'm writing about the recovery of a broken heart.

Anyways, after a year, I'd basically forgotten, only remembering him on random nights when I couldn't sleep. Well, 3 weeks ago, he texted me. I was spooked. REEEALLLYYY spooked. While he was my secret admirer, I knew nothing. No phone number, no real name... nothing. It took me a while to realize it was him and alot longer to kind of really make sure he was who he said he was. It seemed like time never passed and so it wasn't long before we started dating.
Yeah, it;s great. He's amazing and all but he's so elusive. Right now I could use some support... and I'm not getting it. Well, it's this void that makes me wonder if it's all worth it. So for now, I consider myself single, mostly because you'd think that after a year of disappearing, a guy would try to make it up to a girl but... guess not. I still feel a void, mostly because the guy's disappeared and hasn't even texted me in 4 days. I'm done with waiting by the phone...
If you can declare a person legally dead after 6 months of being missing, then you can certainly consider a relationship over after an extended period of absence.
So here, I am. Basically in the same position I was weeks ago. Now what?