Day 21

It's the day after Easter, and to be honest, I felt like the holiday was taking two steps back. After nights of not being able to sleep and waking up with horrible insomnia, I realized that I was supposed to spend the holiday with Alex and his family. I ended up stranded at my house still not with my own family but my stepdad's clan who really doesn't give a flying rat's ass about me, mostly because I never bothered with the family-like cultural diffusion when my mom remarried and introduced me to them. I saw no need to be diffused when I got isolated into a new territory anyways.
My close friends Victor and Sonia came by to visit though, and it pretty much made my day.Victor's mom lets him go cruising now, so thankfully he came by my house to save me for just a few moments. The one highlight I had besides their surprise visit is the one person who's come to save me over the past few weeks. His name is (ironically enough) Andrew, just like Alex's brother. These two are total opposites though. Alex's brother (thus labeled as Andrew2) is a total.... jerk. Andrew1 is soooo much nicer. He lives really far from where I do, sadly. We met at a drum corps competition last summer, and slowly became friends. Had he not called me during Easter, I probably would've been dying of isolation.
Which leaves me with today. I could not sleep. Again. I've tried everything but I can't bring my body to sleep, much less think and relax. When I do fall asleep though, I wake up to my iPod headphones wrapped around my neck, almost as if attempting to strangle me. Yes. I need a good strangling in the morning. Now I really miss sleep. My friends have all attempted to set me up on blind dates, to meet people and to get back out there. One even offered to set me up with their cousin who lives in Mexico. Mexico! I say it's too soon. I'm just beginning to get used to being alone again. (Well, not really but I'm more comfortable with the term than before) Besides, there's someone on my mind already but my head is arguing constantly about the subject. I want to like him but I also don't want to for fear of setting myself up. Maybe this is what's keeping me up at night. No matter what, I'm adamant: No dating. Not right now. The closest I will get to dating is prom (taking a friend that I've yet to find: Long story) or this new person of interest, may he like me too. (I hope.)
It's tough to start all over again, even more so when you don't want to but have to do something with your life. I can't stay moody and morose forever but.... I still have a hard time admitting the good times are going and that I'm flat out single. I'm at least admitting it now, not like two weeks ago where I was incredibly close to changing my status to "in a relationship" again because I thought the computer was glitched. All I can say at this point is: Now what?