Day 87

Tomorrow is the next stop on my plan packed summer... tomorrow, I leave for band camp.
Yes, band camp, notorious for so many perverted things. I, however, see it as an opportunity to advance and grow in the music community... without the looming prospect of Alex in the background. I've got my suitcase packed, my iPod loaded, and my mind clear. I'm really looking forward to being away for a while... I mean, wouldn't you be if the crappy town you lived refused to let you forget the shitty things that happen to you? This town is too small... my high school is too small... to let anything slip under the radar, especially when I'm considered by some to be infallible.

The truth is, I'm not. I'm still struggling with him and my past every day. My breakup with Alex is like having allergies. Some days you're good, and others the irritation get so bad that it's impossible to ignore. Sure, you can try something to alleviate the symptoms but the condition is still there underneath, just waiting for a flair-up.

This summer is my last chance to patch myself up for good and pick up the pieces of my personal life. Sure I'm a perfectionist, while some call me an over achiever... maybe I'm guilty of being both. But the one thing I will definitely admit to is the fact that I put my professional life first, and my personal life second. My friends first, myself second. My family ALWAYS first, myself second.a I'm seventeen and already I have a highly anticipated future and respectable career as the high school activist. I'm the head of so many things and yet, I'm not even in control of my own life.
Like I said, this is my last chance to be different and run the reins of my own life for once. Once I go to college and begin this highly anticipated career, it will be way too late and I am destined to be a boring politician, so I better start now. That way I can at least be an interesting person in control of my own life.
So band camp, here I come and self-discovery is up next...