Word Vomit Part 2.

Now that everyone is aware of miraculous situation (and the abnormal circumstances I'm in, I can now continue to describe my situation at the moment.
After I got back from New York, everything changed. I could feel it even on the plane. I changed, Life changed, the people around me changed. Some of it has been great. Other aspects of it? Eh... not so much. It's interesting when you think about it. I guess you could say I've been thinking about it more than I should. Let me explain.
You see, going from my minuscule neighborhood of open secrets and cliquey surroundings to the wonders of New York really changed my perspective. For once, I didn't have to worry about other people or the disasters bound to ensue anywhere I went. I was at peace. There were grand buildings, real people and even bigger possibilities to make things happen. I know this is going to sound totally cheesy but my eyes opened at the mere idea that there really is a world waiting for me. The rest of my experience is basically on tape.
When I got back home though, I discovered how any little thing can define people. I'm omniscient to the fact that the entire experience was nothing short of a miracle. However, it changed alot of things in my life. People changed. Some became genuine. Others became fake. The rest? Unreal in their own character. I've become closer to my friends, my good, solid friends. I've discovered who I can never trust. I've also discovered that if you get one lucky break, a following will proceed- both good and bad. That's a part of life, but in spite of all this, the most important lesson I feel I've learned is that finding yourself can be a work-in-progress and any little thing can happen to make you realize who you really are.
I've been plagued with an issue for most of my life yet here I stand, stronger than before. I am who I am. I'm not going to be spooked by my own shadow. This is where Alex comes into play.
I'll admit, Andrew's right (don't get a big head, Drew. I have a point) It's been months since Alex and I were together. As a matter of fact, we've been apart much longer than we were together. Why do I still miss him, you ask? I ask myself the very same question. If you're reading this, chances are that you've followed my journey (or at least know what and why I started this blog) I've been through ranges of emotions and documented the majority of my process in recovery. I've been angry, immature, hurt, confused, happy, and very much lost in my own way and my own world for the past year or so. I look back and cringe at the moments where I acted (and reeeeaaallly sounded like a spoiled little girl/lovesick puppy) I also read at my entries and wonder how I can be this little girl but also on some days sound like an old woman, hurt and rejected, wounded by life. Alex was only around for so long yet he's played a major role in my life already, I've discovered happy moments, trying moments and so much about my character in his absence.
No, after everything's happened, it's only logical for him to serve as a catalyst for my self discovery. Still, I'd like to report he will be crossing my path in a very interesting setting. I'll be seeing him in December at my best friend's band Christmas Party. He's doing well. I'm doing better emotionally and definitely better careerwise. Only time and some optimism will tell to see what happens. If anything happens.